It's not like I'm not used to my parents being away. My dad, especially, have always been away since I was little. Its just that, they went away at the time when I wasn't ready for it and there were some other emotional things that comes in between. For example, the fact that they had to be away for an indefinite period of time because my grandma is sick. By sick, I meant half-her-body-can't-move-kind-of-sick. So apart from being all stressed out from school work and some other things, they hadta leave us in an unstable heart and mind. Okay, so I do sound like I'm exaggerating. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. I'm not sure myself.
So, time passed by veryyyy slowly, now they're back. I can't really express how grateful I am to see them again. Like, really really thanking Allah for the chance to meet them again. My dad, on the other hand, left me speechless because the first thing he said to me after more than a week not seeing each other was, "Arigato! Arigato!" =____=
Go figure.
Anyhoo... Mum, as usual, delayed her resting time just to talk. I don't mind. Really. But it's her I worry about. My mum. I heart her. Just now, on the way to kadai komunis *opps expose*, my dad told me, "Babu tu liat cerita cina bagus tadi dalam feri dari Labuan. Walaupun ngaleh ngaleh. Bapa tetidur tidur lagi meliat. Babu ingat kali tu apa namanya. Bagus tu cerita atu lai". So yeah. She's that kinda person. And then my dad would bring up a conversation everytime we're in a car. I'm not complaining tho', I love it that he makes the effort to spill some knowledge and give some reminders whenever he can.
And so, he reminded me about seeking ilm'. He compared Malaysia back when he left it 20 years ago and the present. He told me that the people there are spending way too much time just to satisfy their materialistic needs. Or perhaps, even to the extent to just for their wants. He said, if only we have the knowledge to balance it all out, we could escape that kind of circle. And then he talked about my uncle, who's intelligent and has knowledge in both dunya and akhirat matters. Academically brilliant and consistent in his ibadah. He can now satisfying his wife's and children's needs with the qualities he has, all thanks to the ilm' he gained earlier on (and of course, still is).
I know for myself, that man is a great man. He doesn't live in condos, just a cheap rented flat. But his children are all high achievers, takes care of their hijab and all that. When I last visited them last July, it was their hospitality that made me feel like home. I respect the akhlak they have, also gained by knowledge and practice. I'm glad my dad didn't missed out the point that ilmu agama / Islamic knowledge is still important in our lives. He said, a third of a day is for work, another third of a day is for family and another third of a day is for ibadah. I'm assuming the time for ibadah is for solat, zikr tahlil and generally, 'me'-time. Of course work and spending time for family could be counted as ibadah, IF we refresh our niat to doing it for Allah's sake :)
So, I'm like yeah... I think I need to refresh back on my niat. School work is bringing me down but hey, don't! I always forget to ask for barakah in terms of time and effort, from Allah. Silly me! I think my zikr to Allah is less now, maybe that's why I've been pressurized and feeling anxious so easily. Aishhh, better check on my relationship with Allah :(
Silly silly sillly me! No wonder things have been so dry (not physically!). Aiyoo, must strenghten zikr for Allah! Must must MUST. InsyaAllah.
Oh btw, zikr have 3 ways. Zikr qauli (sebutan), qalbi (dalam hati) and fikli (perbuatan). The zikr qauli can then be further divided into tahlil, tasbih, takbir, taubat and tahmid. Mengingati Allah dgn 3 cara ini. Not just ber-zikir as in "Subhanallah... subhanallla... 33x" but also, remember Him in our hearts even if we're happy (especially when we're happy!) or even when we're down down down down~
So, Brunei Negara Zikir means Brunei, a country where its people remembers Allah by sayings, by heart and by actions. Bila kan buat maksiat, ingat Allah. Hati akan kacau dan segera meninggalkan laranganNya, kan? ;)
Conclusion-nya and relation to the topic, 1) Appreciate our parents every existence (kan Harry Potter nada parents) and 2) Seek ilm' like a seeker moves fast to catch the golden snitch :p
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